In 2025, talking openly about money is still a sensitive topic, so it’s no surprise that many couples avoid it altogether. But with financial issues being one of the leading causes of relationship stress, it’s crucial to have open and honest conversations about money. If you’re in a serious relationship and planning a future together, now is the time to start talking about your finances—especially if you’re moving in together, sharing expenses, or considering a joint mortgage.
Trust, openness, and transparency are key ingredients for a healthy relationship, and that includes financial trust. Here’s how to break the money taboo and navigate this often-challenging subject.
Finding the right time
There’s never a “perfect” moment to talk about money. It’s an emotional topic tied to deeply personal experiences and beliefs. Each of us has a unique “money story,” shaped by our upbringing and life experiences. For example, someone who grew up hearing “money doesn’t grow on trees” might have a savings-focused mindset, while someone else might value spending and enjoying money in the moment.
It’s unlikely you and your partner will see eye-to-eye on everything right away, and that’s okay. What’s important is understanding each other’s perspectives and finding ways to align your financial goals.
If you’re ready to have the conversation, here are some tips:
- Choose a time when neither of you is rushed or stressed.
- Take turns speaking openly and listen to each other without judgment.
- Stay calm and avoid reacting emotionally if surprises arise.
- Focus on finding solutions and creating a plan, rather than dwelling on past mistakes.
What to talk about
Your money talk will depend on where you are in your relationship, but here are some key topics to address if you’re moving in together or planning a financial future:
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Who’s the breadwinner?
To manage a household budget and split expenses, you both need to know what you’re working with. Being transparent about your income builds trust and lays the foundation for equitable decision-making.
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What are your financial goals?
Understanding each other’s financial priorities can help you create realistic joint goals. For example, is it more important to pay off student loans, save for a wedding, or buy a car for a daily commute? Aligning your goals early can help prevent disagreements later.
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How do you feel about each other’s spending habits?
Resentment can build if one partner splurges on personal wants while the other focuses on saving for shared goals. Discuss where you both like to spend your discretionary income. While you might not “get” why your partner needs a new golf club, if it’s important to them, make room for it in the budget. Focus on trends rather than nitpicking individual purchases.
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How should we split the bills?
The most common approach is a 50/50 split, but this can be challenging if one partner earns significantly less. An alternative is to split expenses proportionally based on income, where each person contributes the same percentage. Decide on the logistics too—will one person manage the bills, or will you set up a joint account for shared expenses? Clear agreements can save stress and arguments later.
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How often will we talk about money?
This conversation shouldn’t be a one-and-done deal. Schedule regular check-ins to review expenses, track progress on shared goals, and adjust plans as needed. Frequent communication helps ensure you’re both on the same page.
Getting practical
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to managing finances as a couple. What’s important is finding a system that works for both of you. Some popular options include:
- Full sharing: Deposit both salaries into a joint account for all expenses and personal spending.
- Hybrid sharing: Use a joint account for shared expenses but maintain separate personal accounts for individual spending.
- Split accounts: Keep finances separate but use a tool like Splitwise to track and split shared expenses.
Talking about money with your partner can feel intimidating, but it’s a crucial step toward a stronger, healthier relationship. By being open, respectful, and solution-focused, you can create a financial plan that works for both of you. Schedule time for the conversation, align your goals, and choose a system that makes you both feel confident and clear about your financial future together.